Poor Decision Making Ability

This past Saturday, while most sane people were digesting leftover turkey sandwiches and standing in line at Best Buy, I used my poor decision making ability (to its fullest), combining inclement weather with unfortunate terrain.

Yes, I decided to ride the 50-mile 'Dirty Dozen', or as the organizer, Danny Chew pleasantly describes it, "A Journey Through Pain"

Now generally speaking, 50-mile rides are mostly easy, 2.5 hour affairs. Not this one. Mr. Chew went specifically looking for the steepest roads in the Pittsburgh region to ride up.

For those of you who don't live in Pittsburgh: steep... means STEEP. As in world-record 37% grade. And unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on your particular brand of masochism), that 37% hill was the easiest of the thirteen.



As per my modus operandi, I came to Pittsburgh ill-prepared; having a 11-21 rear cassette on my bike... basically, my bike wasn't set up to go slow enough for me to be able to still turn the pedals. A $60 penalty imposed by the not-so-local bike shop got me their last 12-27 cassette, and I was back in business. I was to learn later that another unfortunate participant walked in five minutes later to find out I had stolen his cassette from him...

Not really knowing what to expect, I arrived with my entourage (read: mother and sister) to the start with what I thought was a half-hour to spare. Seeing as it was about 40 degrees out, I didn't expect a big turnout.

I was wrong. In all, 130 people showed up. Perhaps due to the extra people, we didn't manage to get started until an hour after I'd arrived; that trend was to continue throughout the day. I *did* manage to balance out my early arrival/late start by managing to be the last person out of the starting gate, though, so all was well in the world.

I didn't think starting last was a big deal, because I was going to take it easy on the first hill and feel out the procedure and hills. It turns out that a whistle is blown at the bottom of the hill, which indicated the (rolling) start; the top ten riders scored points. At the top of the hill everyone would wait for the last rider, and then ride (presumably neutral) to the next hill.

Now, position when that whistle was blown was sometimes irrelevant, and sometimes critical, depending on the turns, road surface, and wet leaves, that all can preclude passing. As I didn't know the route, I was attempting to stay about five-ten people back when the whistle blew; attempts that were, by-and-large, complete failures. On Canton, I was stopped when, not unusually, someone in front of me fell over backwards and started doing somersaults down the hill. Unfortunately this was NOT caught on camera, but still, the antics of other participants bears watching. Fortunately, I am not featured in said video.



Yes, I made it up all of the hills. I scored points on three of them. I was stopped by falling riders on two, automobiles on a third, and a last-minute rule change on a fourth. The others? I was just too lazy, including the last one, where I swore I wouldn't do this again.

I finished in 22nd place, at least, to the extent that '22nd' is a 'place' instead of a 'measure of failure'. I blame the ten pounds I've gained in the last two months.