Death Valley. A history.

Satellite View of Death Valley. Yes, it's strange there.

So, in 1849, there was an influx of gold-crazy emigrants to California. Some of the emigrants - like the Donner party the year before - got to Salt Lake City a little late.

With the late start (always a good idea when traversing 10,000 foot passes) they decided to forgo the Donner route, instead taking a route that basically ran through Mexico.

Albeit late, they were also an impatient lot, and halfway through the trip they decided that going that far south from Salt Lake City was taking too long. One man had a map; it showed there could be a 500 mile shortcut by cutting across Death Valley, (or as it was listed on his map, “Garden of Eden Valley, where the going is easy, there's plenty of water, and the oxen graze freely upon the plains’).

Not surprisingly, the victi… I mean the pioneers had a rough time. Canyons, mountains, no food and little water for them or their oxen… and then, one night, the man with the map decided he’d had enough of the scowls and jokes at his expense (for example, “Knock Knock” "Who’s there?" "Someone with a rope to hang the guy with the map."). Needless to say, humor wasn’t the strong point of early Californians; it would take another 130 years before they would invent the movie "Airplane". In any case the guy who's idea it was to go through Death Valley decided it would be best if he went on to California by himself, and took the only map with him.

The thing about death valley – the thing that keeps the clouds/rain/water from reaching the valley – is that 8,000 to 14,000 foot mountains tower along all sides of it. After entering the valley, there was no way the wagons could leave. When two months had passed without finding a decent source of food or water for themselves or their oxen, the exhausted emigrants decided to hike out of the valley. They burned their wagons and furniture to make beef jerky out of their withered oxen (the oxen did not have a vote in the matter, much to the chagrin of the fledgling Sierra club).

And of course, this brought the realization that the worst tragedy of the journey was before them.

The guy with the map also had all the Teriyaki seasoning.